'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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