There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
