I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
