we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
