Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
