did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
