I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
