she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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