Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize