8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
her facebook's as public as her vagina
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
