I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize