C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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