Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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