The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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