just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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