can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apparently you make a good broom.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
