im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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