is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My balls are so social today.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.