that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
