it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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