Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize