How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
