We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
