so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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