I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
