Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
3 2 1 whiskey
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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