Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize