I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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