Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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