You're my little dorito
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there was a trapeze. enough said
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
