The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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