if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize