this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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