Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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