Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its not stalking. its research.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize