I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize