We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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