I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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