Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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