I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
