Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
