Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
