can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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