ya dads aren't the best wingmen
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So much rum. So many feels.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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