i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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