The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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