forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This is classic penis vs brain.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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