Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
