she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize