you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
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