Sry I called you an 8
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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