im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
