But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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