I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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