I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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