3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
