Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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