I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How's work?
Spinning.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
