forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
