She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
