Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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