Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..