And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
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I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..