I want to walk on stilts...naked
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.