i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype